The Practice of Inner Seeing

I just completed a second round of cataract surgery and am astounded, moment my moment, with the clarity and color that comes with these new lenses. I am enjoying driving and walking and just looking at my world with renewed vision. While the technology that returns our sight so immediately and so miraculously is certainly worth discussing, I want to talk about another world that has opened to me with my newly implanted lenses: the world of inner seeing.

Yes, I feel like I am seeing my neighborhood for the first time with my renewed vision, but I know this will fade. I will lose the edge of newness and stop noticing what my brain has already catalogued and stored away. This would be a sad loss, so I am asking myself "Does it have to be this way?" Can I cultivate this childlike wonder and amazement and sustain it when the newness fades? For it is truly a gift, to perceive the physical world as if for the first time. There is a deep sense of presence in this sort of seeing. The sort of presence I strive for with mindfulness practices and other techniques has been gifted to me with my enhanced vision. Yes, I want to continue seeing this way. I want to let in the colors and shapes and even the clashes and rough edges. I want to see it all, as if for the first time, with beginner's mind.

As I let my attention be drawn to this colorful, world of wonder around me, I hear a small voice inside: What about the other way of seeing? The other way? I have written about this before. We don't "just see" the world. We add to it. We interpret it. We like it. We dislike it. And in adding our preferences to the mix, we change the way we see. For the moment, I have reclaimed beginner's eyes as I look at the outer world, but if I add in my preferences and interpretations, I am creating a whole new set of lenses to filter my seeing. This is not the clear vision I am seeking! Years of living in this body bring with it years of likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, beliefs and imaginings, all of which color the way I see. If only there were a cataract surgery for our inner eyes, so we could return to the way of seeing we came into the world with, a seeing untainted by history!

With this cleared, inner vision, the cypress tree is a cypress tree, the Toyota is a Toyota, the cloud is a cloud and the line down the middle of the road is a line down the middle of the road. I don't need to add to it or interpret it. I don't need to wonder if the cloud is bringing rain or why the Toyota driver didn't signal when changing lanes. It is JUST tree, just car, just cloud . . . This is the inner vision I am seeking and it will take more than a surgery to clear up the dirt that is clouding my inner lenses.

So, I am practicing "just tree" as a way of seeing. During these precious days where I find myself astounded by the outer colors of the world, I am using these moments of attention to add the word "just" to what I see when I name it to myself. With that word, just, I find I linger a little longer in the seeing moment. I find there is an enough-ness to what I am seeing, a perfection that requires no additions or deletions for me. My inner commentary begins to quiet, too, which is an added bonus.

Join me, if you will. Let's practice seeing and being present with whatever surrounds us in this moment. Just keyboard. Just candle. Just desktop. Just perfect. It's a world of wonder, if we let ourselves pause and really see it, from within and without. Let's go exploring!