Transitions 5 - Focus

I have been giddy these past few days, taking in each new vista as the trail bends, always reaching out and beyond to the next vista and the one beyond. Today, I am focusing in a bit more and taking stock of where I am. Part of me panics when I realize I am already halfway through my time here and have no epiphanies to show for it. So, I paused today and asked myself, "What do you know, or what do you think you know?"

What I know takes the form of images, not words. I can draw images in my sketchbook that point in the direction of a "What's next" for my life. I hesitate with words, however. Images seem truer, more honest. Images offer a sense of spaciousness that words with their limits and interpretations do not. So, I draw. I am surprised to find that my visions have not been focused on what I will DO next, but around who I will BE next. I catch glimpses of her, this emerging woman. She is there in the pauses. She is there in the spaces between the words. She is there in the call of the Raven and the pounding of the waves on the rocks. I begin to detect her. She is healthy and strong, at peace with aging, and more comfortable with being outside than in. She knows how to be quiet, with herself and with others. She is playful. She is optimistic. Most of all, she leads with spirit, trusts spirit, is sourced in spirit.

So I return again and again to walk the bluffs. I walk in fog. I walk in the midday heat. I walk when my phone vibrates telling me I have reached 10,000 steps, and I keep walking. Walking is my faith and this stretch of coast is my teacher. I am showing up. I am listening. I trust that I will walk my way into a new direction, with the earth herself as my guide. As John O'Donahue reminds us:

"Let us bless

The imagination of the Earth.

That knew early the patience

To harness the mind of time,

Waited for the seas to warm,

Ready to welcome the emergence

Of things dreaming of voyaging

Among the stillness of land."

Yes, the Earth has imagination and she has patience. I can trust her as a guide, and I can trust the parts of myself that stay earthed.