Updraft

I was watching a flock of pelicans cross the bay together, and it brought to mind the geese that would regularly fly over my house in the Sierras. I loved to listen to their honking as they passed by and then faded into the distance. It had a mystical draw for me. I wanted to drop whatever I was doing and fly away with them. It's not the lure of their siren's song I want to reflect on today, however, but the updraft they create with their wings.

We know that geese fly in formation to take advantage of the updraft created by those ahead of them. The energy produced by the flapping wings creates this updraft, resulting in need for less energy for a bird flying slightly behind and above, while it remains in this "sweet spot." I am coming to realize that one of the greatest gifts we give each other as humans is the equivalent of an "updraft."

I used to feel I needed to fix people's problems. I'd jump into advice giving and solution finding as soon as I detected the faintest hint of a need. No more, no more! I had the extraordinary experience of "helping" a couple of friends who were trying to resolve an issue last week, and they happily reached an agreeable conclusion. They thanked me profusely for this "help" I'd given, and really all I had done was sit in the room with them and and listen, only very occasionally asking a question.

What had my presence done? I think I created an updraft for them. I believed they could solve their problem. I believed in their heartfulness and creativity. I walked alongside, but I never guided. I trusted their wisdom, when they could not trust it themselves. My belief in their potential seemed to make it easier for them to do the impossible. I created an updraft. I made it easier for them to remember their wings, and ultimately to fly.

Friends have given me this gift from time to time, the gift of believing in me or for me when I could not muster the faith myself. Their belief created an updraft that enabled me to continue forward in situations where it seemed most impossible. To believe for another, to show by our actions and our words that we trust their own, innate wisdom, is a greater gift than offering solutions to a problem. This belief literally creates the wind beneath our wings.

This simple word, updraft, is translating into a personal mission for me. In every conversation, and in every group I convene in the course of my work, I am shifting away from leading with my own wisdom or advice. I remind myself "I'm here to be an updraft." Surprise, surprise? This is usually the best gift I can offer.